So here’s the thing…

Posted: October 4, 2012 in MiB Hates Us All

Firstly, mucho appreciato to all of the readers of this fine literary blog that read the pieces, enjoyed them, commented on them and promoted them – especially the ladies. The response was overwhelming – it turned out to be far bigger and better than I expected – if not viral, it was certainly bacterial. Or fungal – come on, you can give me fungal. So kudos to you, dear reader. Go on, give yourself a pat on the back. Wait, did you really do that? Yowza, someone has some attention-issues… You should see someone about that. Personally, my therapist says that it helps to vent the loneliness and frustration out via “harmless” words instead of parading the streets with a bottle of Smirnoff and a panga and straight-up decapitating people. I’m just kidding. I don’t have a therapist.

Secondly, I regret to inform you that I was visited for the second time in a week by unsightly twins in assless chaps brandishing leather whips and supersized nutcrackers this time. I am unable to comment on who these twins were or the status of their hairline or what heinous acts they performed on yours truly, but I’ll leave that to your imagination. Words were exchanged. Fingers were crushed. I was waterboarded, multiple times. And against my greatest efforts, I succumbed once more.

The result: the revolutionary and sensational post on “You-Know-What” regarding “He-Who-Has-No-Mane” has been temporarily removed. Any further updates will also be put on a temporary hiatus – just for the next week. It’s not that I don’t have material. It’s not that I’m petrified of what might happen if I do create new posts – Ancient Zen philosophy of “Who Gives a Fuck”, remember? It’s simply a matter of timing – and now is not the right time.

If this depresses you as much as it depresses me, don’t reach for that katana to honour-kill yourself just yet – like exercise for the fat and hair extensions for the bald and cyanide for the Liverpool supporters, there is hope. Simply cast your eyes to the left of your screen and click the button that reads “Follow”. This way, you’ll be automatically updated via email when I decide to once again unleash my awesome wrath upon society. Easy, right? Isn’t technology great? What will they come up with next – robot bees? Seat-less bikes? Dragon dongs? The possibilities are endless.

So yeah, that’s the deal. A crap one, no doubt, but one with a zarconium lining nonetheless. I’d like to extend my deepest thanks to all of you readers once more. Who knows – maybe one day this humble blog might have Penguins and Puffins and Emus on my doorstep begging for my writing to be published full force, which may mean much money and fame – ladies…

Until then, it’s been a slice.

Unfaithfully Yours,

© 2012-2013 All Rights Reserved

  1. Liam B says:

    Ahh man, I’m truly sad about this.

  2. Therefore, I am Ophelius says:

    Love your posts, but I would like to recommend my therapist. He’ll help you to believe in your dreams, that way you can fight zombies with Cinderella and Winston Churchill.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s