YLC: Day One – Welcome to the Madhouse

Posted: December 16, 2012 in YLC Conference 2012

It has recently come to my attention that the state of humanity is in dire straits. Hell, it’s gotten so bad that it might even be in dire gays, bordering on the verge of dire furries. Personally, I blame the old people. Our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, and let’s even throw in our great-grandparents’ generation for good measure. After all, they were the ones that gave us the Obamas and Osamas and global warming and forced conforming and nuclear powers and acid showers and Clintons with hard-ons as well as genocide, homicide, regicide, elephanticide and all those other nice words that end in -cide. The most that our generation can be blamed for is a renewed interest in vampire-boning and the death of culture. But at least we aren’t killing off the fucking whales, right? Yes, it’s been said many times before and hopefully will not be said by my Russo-Spanish-Indian kids, but our parents’ generation has failed us. The onus has fallen on us, the so-called Millennials, to sucker-punch the Alzheimer-riddled captains of old out the way and seize the helm of the (leader)ship – see what I did there? – and steer us safe and true towards that bright but ever-furthering horizon on these ever-rising waters.

This topic came to mind as I recently spent a week at WITS University attending the first ever South African Institute of International Affairs Young Leaders Conference, which besides being a mouthful was an incredibly stimulating experience. Much happened this past week, both in terms of progress in the real world and progress in MiB’s world – also, this has given me some material to write about. People have been nagging me to write for an eternity, and while my general adage has been “Apathy kills, but I don’t care,” I think it’s time to put finger to keyboard once more.

And so, I arrived at the YLC with a positive mindset and less apathy than usual, hoping to be part of something bigger and better and hopefully less useless than the current people in charge of the world. Also, I was looking to impress and give a genuine attempt to becoming more socially integrated because if you know me, then you’ll know that I don’t generally play well with others and if you don’t know me – welcome to the blog. Stay the hell away from me. Sorry – reflex.

The first thing I did was eat a rather disgusting dinner. There’s no kind way to put it – res food blows. In my opinion, mass produced food should be reserved for refugee and concentration camps. The second thing we did was introduce and tell the group at large something interesting about ourselves. Now, being a badass writer and whatnot, I thought that I should come up with something witty and cool to say that would instantly make me likable, despite my loathing of the word “likable”. Also, I thought this would be a great time to promote the blog. So when my turn arrived, I stood up suavely, waited for all eyes to settle upon me and said, in a cool baritone:

“Hey – my name is MiB. I’m a writer – writing is my passion. Some of my most celebrated pieces include short stories, one-act plays and grocery lists…”

Nobody laughed. At all. In fact, some crickets decided that this would be the perfect time to play Beethoven’s 9th fucking symphony. Well, thought I, this is going to be one hell of a week.

© 2012-2013 mibhatesusall.com All Rights Reserved


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