An Open Letter to Steve Hofmeyr

Posted: October 10, 2013 in MiB Hates Us All

Dear Steve Hofmeyr

Hi buddy. Ah shit – I should probably do this in your language so as not to offend you. I’m sorry. Goeiemôre. Did I say it right? Anyway, how’s it going? My life is going pretty swell at the moment, I must admit – “buy a good”, as you would say. I’d be happy to buy a good from you, maybe some services too, as long as you don’t sing.

Steve, I write this out of concern.  What’s going on, man? Who hurt you? Was it the nasty black people? I assume it was, since you seem to keep going on about them. And now you’ve led this demonstration in Tshwa- PRETORIA! I meant Pretoria! Honest! Let’s talk about today, Steve.

Firstly, what’s with the name? Red October? Come on Steve, that’s the name of a fictional submarine! Where’s the connection? Is it that black people can’t swim? I’m sure it is. In that case, good one! Where does the Red part come in though? I don’t know, Steve. Steve, my man, I’ll be honest. Based on the agenda and actions of its supporters today, it seems like Red October is nothing more than the collective PMS’ing of so-called “oppressed minorities”. Is that why it’s called Red October? Because of the collective menses? Coz that’s clever, man. Did you plan this? How did you guys synchronize your cycles? Was it a Big Brother-type deal? I suppose you’re happy, especially since you can’t get a woman pregnant while she’s menstruating – and we all know that you’re not one to say no to a spot of tannie-tapping 😉

And then your speech today, “I am the Afrikaner, the one you should have kept close”. Come on Steve. Nobody wants to keep you close. I think Anele summed the general sentiment up quite nicely when she said at your Roast “If Satan and Hitler had a child, and she was a girl, she’d still be a better man than you”. And what’s all this about being “the one without whose magnanimity you would still be facing the mightiest defence force on this continent”? Well shit, thanks for being so magnanimous as to allow us non-white folks the chance to have human rights. That’s mighty white of you.

I thought you would stop at this point, Steve. I thought that maybe your previous experiences of forgiving Nelson Mandela on public television – for what, I don’t know – or your squabbles with your negative-image counterpart, Mr Malema, would have tempered your idiotic shit-gargling ways. I hoped for you Steve. I prayed for you. But then you went on and said that “I am her from the last tribe of Africa still fighting for indigenous, mother-tongue education.” The last tribe of Africa? What are you now, native? Are you Khoi-San? Do you even drift, bro? And fighting for mother-tongue education? Really? The day you fight for your progeny to be taught Zulu in school is the day Emma Watson gives me a rusty trombone. And what’s this drivel about “we (white people) are not used to being raped in these numbers”? Is there a quota of rapes that you aim for each month? Do you try for a steady percentage growth per annum? What about outsourcing? I guess my point, Steve, is that you’re an idiot.

And the sad part, I guess, is that you have such a great number of sheeple that will support every single thing you do and say because you’re a celebrity. I read the comments section of an article about your fucktarded decision to “sing the ‘k’ word in front of the courts” and I think to myself, this fuckmook is arguably the most dangerous white man in South Africa. And there’s nothing we can do about it. Like Pamela Geller, the Westboro Baptist Church and so many other hate-filled fucktarts, you will continue to sow your seed amongst our brethren in your quest for greater infamy, never really realising the true extent of your words and deeds. To you, it’s one big game for greater fame, and you’re riding your wave of bigotry all the way to the bank.

When asked in a Rolling Stone interview where you’ll be in 10 years, you rattled off a typical verbal gonorrhoea response, but then you ended with “Who knows? I’ll be around.”

That’s the true tragedy.

Buy-a-donkey. I hope I’ve said it right. I’ll take three, since you’ve got asses to spare.

Your pal,



[Make like Beyonce and follow my blog – to the left, to the left. If you tweet, chirp and eat worms directly from your mother’s oral cavity, follow me on Twitter @MibHatesUsAll]

  1. Another idiot with an opinion. Oops. Not Steve. You! Grow some and stamp your garbage with your name. I doubt it you got the spine. Jelly are what you guys are made of. Only a moerse klap wakes idiots like you up in real time because anyone can hide behind dark glasses like a hypocrite 🙂


    • Well well well, we meet again. First you call me a “typical white rich kid enjoying his white privilege” on Twitter, and now you’re posting on my blog! So not only are you a racist, you’re also colour-blind, which is really the most beautiful paradox in the history of ever. Mucho appreciato for proving my point about sheeple, mate. I guess I should also leave my website in capitals in my comment like some hotshot:


      What now?!?

  2. Alikat says:


  3. themikeappel says:

    Love your work MIB. As a bilingual whitey, I don’t much associate myself with my khaki-wearing brethren but do get along with many of the good “oaks” china! The mighty white thing of me to do right now would be to say: “You write so well!” Hahaha. But seriously, you write well!

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